W came home from work last night - I asked him that wifely sort of way how was your day dear - interesting was the response and no more.

Finally get T to bed as its impossible to talk when the beserking 3 year old little emperor around and am sitting enjoying Eastenders with a nice cup of tea, when W says I need to talk to you....oh I knew this was coming!

I need to talk to you but don't shout - why would I shout dear?

So he proceeds to tell me all about going to the coffee machine...amazing the sort of conversations that happen away from the office and place of work. He bumped into big boss and got chatting. Big boss said do you have 5 mins and then trapped him in his lair.

The words Sao Paulo fell from W's lips with an ashen look on his face. They want me to go and work there - what do you think? Urrrrrrrrrr, dooohhhhhh, ummmmmmm!

Didnt' we discuss this a year ago and the answer was no? (I refuse to go anywhere were living in compounds to keep the poor and desperate out, plus having security or carrying a gun is a daily occurrence - hence why SP and Moscow have both been put to bed!) Hadn't we asked if we are going anywhere else its English speaking for T to go to school etc (T is 4 in November and school beckons). Yes I knew you'd be angry says W

I'm not angry, I'm just being asked to hugely change my life again just I'm starting to make sense of it again here in Holland with the potential to start my own business. I've been able to go out and meet up with so many friends and do things with/ without Toby in the past 3 months its means we're finally settled and I knew it was going far too well! Just got to this stage previously and we've moved every time I should know better!

SP is a long way away, its apparently dangerous, full of smog (T is an asmatic), too many cars, poor infastructure to support the 3rd biggest city in the world and a collide of very rich and desperately poor (strange sounds like Dublin in some ways). However, its South America, its Rio de janeiro, a completely wow way of living for a period of time, its an opportunity to see the last great jungles of the world, to visit the Amazon, to experience sights I'll never see if I stay here........

Christ what do I do?